What Your Child’s Behavior Might Be Trying to Tell You
Is your child hyper, distracted, or constantly “lazy”? These behaviors may not be defiance—they could be signs of exhaustion and nervous system stress.
They’re Not Lazy. They’re Not Wild.
They’re Exhausted.
Welcome back, friends.
Today, we’re tackling one of the most misunderstood topics in parenting: the kids who get mislabeled as either too much… or not enough.
The ones who are:
Called lazy for not wanting to move
Branded hyperactive for never stopping
Two opposite behaviors same root cause.
What if we told you that both of these behaviors can come from the same thing?
A nervous system stuck in survival mode.
Kids who are chronically tired, poorly rested, or breathing shallowly aren’t lazy or misbehaving.
They’re simply doing what their biology demands:
Trying to survive with limited energy.
Behavior Isn’t Bad It’s Biological
Let’s reframe the labels:
-
“Lazy” = A body conserving energy
-
“Hyperactive” = A body trying to stay awake or alert
These aren’t character flaws.
They’re adaptations.
When a child is struggling with sleep, oxygen intake, or nervous system balance, their body reacts in one of two ways:
-
Shut Down – looks like zoning out, dragging feet, low motivation
-
Speed Up – looks like bouncing off walls, fidgeting, or meltdowns
At the root of both?
“My body doesn’t feel safe. I’m running on empty.”
What’s Draining Our Kids?
Let’s look at the top 3 hidden energy zappers:
💤 1. Unrestorative Sleep
They’re in bed all night but still wake up cranky.
Why?
-
Mouth breathing
-
Snoring or grinding
-
Restless tossing
-
Incomplete sleep cycles
These kids are in bed, but their brains aren’t recharging.
🫁 2. Poor Oxygenation
If your child…
-
Breathes through their mouth
-
Has a low tongue posture
-
Sleeps with their lips apart
-
Can’t breathe deeply through the nose
…then their brain isn’t getting the oxygen it needs to focus, think clearly, or stay calm.
The result?
Brain fog, low energy, or hyper-compensation (think: chaos).
⚡ 3. Chronic Nervous System Overload
Many kids live in a constant fight-flight-freeze loop. Their nervous system is always on edge like a smoke alarm stuck on “beep.”
Signs of this include:
-
Constant chewing or fidgeting
-
Sudden mood swings
-
Irritability over tiny things
-
Emotional shutdowns
A Real Story:
Noah was 9.
Smart. Funny. And totally misunderstood.
He couldn’t sit still. Slept through dinner. Cried over PE class. And focused on Minecraft like it was his job.
Doctors were quick to say ADHD or laziness.
But when we looked deeper?
-
He had low tone (his body tired easily)
-
He breathed through his mouth
-
He had poor sleep quality
-
He had nutrient deficiencies
We didn’t give him more discipline.
We gave him better support.
-
Breathing therapy
-
Sleep improvements
-
Nutrient-rich foods
-
Gentle nervous system regulation
And the result?
His energy came back.
His spark returned.
And the label? Gone.
Signs Your Child May Be Exhausted (Not Lazy)
Keep an eye out for these patterns:
-
Meltdowns after small requests
-
Constant movement with no focus
-
Slumped posture
-
W-sitting or fatigue after meals
-
Avoids outdoor play
-
Easily overwhelmed or withdrawn
These are not bad behaviors.
They’re red flags of depletion.
When the body can’t rest, it moves.
When the brain is tired, it reacts.
When the system is overloaded, it shuts down or blows up.
So What Can We Do?
1. Start With Sleep
Look for signs of poor-quality rest:
-
Mouth open during sleep
-
Snoring, teeth grinding, restless legs
-
Cranky mornings despite 10 hours in bed
These point to airway or breathing issues that deserve support.
2. Nourish the Nervous System
Feed their brains and bodies with:
-
🥚 Eggs
-
🐟 Wild salmon or sardines
-
🧈 Grass-fed butter
-
🎃 Pumpkin seeds
Avoid constant sugar crashes or skipping protein.
3. Movement That Grounds
Instead of demanding stillness, give them movement that calms:
-
Crawling or climbing
-
Swinging or rocking
-
Playing barefoot on grass
-
Slow, sensory play
4. Ask Better Questions
Before reacting to the behavior, ask:
-
Is this defiance or depletion?
-
Is my child moving to stay alert or safe?
-
Are they truly rested or just going through the motions?
You’re Not Alone and Your Child Isn’t Broken
If your child has ever been called lazy, disruptive, or “too much” take a breath.
You are not alone.
They are not broken.
They are signaling, not misbehaving and now, you know how to listen.
Want Help Navigating This?
Inside the SHIFT Method Course, we walk you step-by-step through:
-
Rebuilding deep, restful sleep
-
Retraining nasal breathing
-
Supporting tone, energy, and emotional resilience
-
Creating calm in the home without punishments or power struggles
👉 Join or explore the SHIFT Method here: https://shereewertz.com/academy
What’s Next?
Next week, we’ll be diving into a BIG question:
“What happens when kids start questioning a system that doesn’t feel built for them?”
We’ll look at school struggles, behavior charts, discipline systems — and how to advocate for your child with clarity and compassion.
This month, we’ve explored:
-
Sensitivity
-
Focus
-
Breath
-
Fatigue
-
The nervous system behind the behavior
And here’s what I hope you walk away with:
Your child isn’t lazy. They’re tired.
They’re trying.
With the right support they will rise.
You’ve got this.
You’re not doing it alone.
