It’s not defiance. It’s dysregulation. And it might start with the body.
If your child has ever had a meltdown that felt way bigger than the moment…
If they get labeled “difficult,” “emotional,” or “too sensitive”…
If transitions, bedtime, or getting out the door leave everyone in tears—
You’re not alone.
And your child isn’t broken.
What most people call “behavior” is often something deeper:
A dysregulated nervous system trying to cope.
Behavior Is Communication
Let’s flip the question.
Instead of asking: “Why are they acting like this?”
Ask: “What is their body trying to tell me?”
That tantrum might be:
-
A missed meal
-
A sensory system on overload
-
A sign they’re tired, thirsty, or just not breathing well
We often treat the surface but miss the signal.
What Dysregulation Looks Like
It’s not always dramatic.
Sometimes it’s:
-
Constant movement
-
Big reactions to small things
-
Chewing on clothing
-
Zoning out or hyperfocusing
-
Trouble settling at bedtime
These aren’t “bad habits.”
They’re survival strategies.
Your child isn’t trying to be difficult.
They’re trying to feel safe.
A New Way to Support Your Child
You don’t need to wait for a diagnosis.
You don’t need to overhaul your whole routine.
You can start small with something I call the OWNER Code.
It’s a simple way to check the basics:
-
Oxygen — Are they nose breathing?
-
Water — Are they hydrated?
-
Nutrition — Are they eating real, balanced food?
-
Enough Sleep — Are they rested?
-
Respect for the Body — Are they moving in healthy, regulating ways?
When these needs are met, the body calms.
And so does the behavior.
You’re Already on the Right Track
If this resonates if something in you is saying yes then trust that.
Because behavior isn’t a mystery.
It’s a map.
And when we learn to read it,
We stop reacting and start responding.
Looking for more support?
I created the SHIFT Method and community for moms like you—who want to raise self-aware, regulated kids with confidence and clarity.
Join the SHIFT Community here ➝ https://shiftcircle.shereewertz.com/communities/groups/shiftcircle/home?invite=68616eb5d774a6c7443f0a15
Join the SHIFT Method here ➝ https://shereewertz.com/academy
